lost

I start the year in Amsterdam. Maybe a sign of what was to come.  I come back in Bucharest only to soon find myself in the wreck of what was 10 seconds ago my car. I drive insanely and my insanity almost lost someone’s life, even so I left a friend with a multiple hand fracture. No car insurance, no inspiration to lie to the police that there were no victims. I lose my license, I lose my car and for some reasons in that crash I fell that I lost a lot more than that. From there it’s all s rollercoaster. For a second I lose my sanity, I lose everything. I run away, finding myself each day in a different place.  I wake up in a hotel room in Rome; I have no idea how I got there and not even bother to wonder. No plans, no purpose, only trying to fight off my own demons that consume me. I enjoy, I see and admire each of the beautiful things that my road has to offer me. I see old friends, I dig up ghosts of the past, I manipulate and dose my emotions to find the balance that I seek so much. And for the time being, it seems to work. Drugs, 100 GB of photos, 400 kilometers of walking, 10 hours of flight, 5 hours of sleep a night, 2 hours of sleep a day in strange places, thousands of beautiful things seen. Each day a new town, each week a new country, and for now the hotel room is my home. Eventually I come back. Work. I go to Sofia in delegation. I come back. I leave to Portugal. I come back but in 7 days I’m back in Barcelona.

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braid

Indie

I usually don’t write about something else than photography, but this time I feel is somehow my duty. As you know I work in the gaming industry. As an industry, it has little margin for something that is unsure to sell, something experimental, something more art oriented rather than existing bad recipes. So basically “the industry” only manufactures the same existing games over and over, with the same compromises made for accessibility and mass-market, the same action packed brainless, soulless, kitschy pieces of shit. Of course there are exceptions even in the high budget area with some developers taking huge risks to push onto the market games that have potential not to sell. Sometimes they make it, most of the time they don’t. And it’s a real pity since gaming platforms have the potential to push art to a new evolutionary step through interactivity, where the viewer becomes a part of the art piece. And that can be the one and only final step in modern arts, it cannot go beyond total immersion, it can only evolve around this idea along with technological evolution.

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Intr-o nota mai optimista (gri deschis)

De bine de rau s-a mai dus un an si nici dracu nu il mai aduce inapoi, iar ce a fost facut sau nefacut asa ramane. Un an destul de ok, cu destule impliniri un singur regret. A fost anul in care am facut macar partial ce mi-am propus, sa vizitez cat mai mult din batranul si frumosul continent. A fost anul in care am mai evoluat putin si profesional la functia de lead 3d in Gameloft (eh, ma laud si eu 🙂 ), am participat la GDC 2008 in Leipzig, unde am acumulat un bagaj de cunostinte substantial foarte util . Am avut prilejul sa vad dus la capat un joc de wii si am participat la multe altele pe diverse platforme. Ce e mai important e ca am lucrat cu oameni extraordinari alaturi. A fost un an in care am experimentat cu diverse substante si plante halucinogene si nu mi-am refuzat nici o experienta potential  interesanta. A fost un an in care am ascultat mai multa muzica decat de obieci, in care am descoperit artisti precum Yann Tiersen (de al carui stil m-am indragostit instant), Tom Waits, Dead can Dance, Noir desir , Nick Cave, Iain Ballamy ,Carter Burwell si multi altii, de multe ori prin intermediul unor filme pe care le-am vazut. Am vazut si multe filme bune ,ca veni vorba, si chiar o sa pun o lista zilele urmatoare cu ce consider ca merita. Evident am facut si multe poze si sper sa fac in continuare, mai bune. Am facut o multime de lucruri marunte si savuroase, am cunoscut oameni noi. Am avut aceiasi 3 prieteni alaturi in majoritatea putinelor seri in oras, singurii din trecut cu care ma mai vad. Si am spus ceva cuiva, dupa o tacere de 3 ani, iar ce a urmat nu mai conteaza, dar ma bucur ca am facut-o. Ma bucur ca am facut toate astea.

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